Book Your Own Fuckin' Life

************** a Decentralized Booking Guy (promoter) [edit] [flag] Last Updated: 2011-05-23

My name's Matt, and I book house shows in Norman. I book basement shows at Universe City. I used to book shows at the legendary Skull Haus, Studio 360 and Pwn House. I really only book things I like, because I can't waste my resources on shit I don't really care about. I know, it's a dick move, but I won't waste my time on your shit band that's probably gonna break up after tour. Only awesome, serious bands need apply. I will book: Thrash metal, Death, Grind, D-Beat, Powerviolence, Sludge, Doom, and a few punk bands. Shit, I'll even book a pop-punk band. If you don't fit anywhere in there, don't bother. I'll ignore you. I can provide around $100 if the turnout is good and the show's on a weekend. If it's not on a weekend, you're looking at $50-$75. Kids here in Norman will buy shit tons of merch. I vigorously promote every show I book. I'll also provide some pretty bitchin' locals to support. Since I don't live at Pwn House anymore, lodging may be a problem, but will be arranged if possible. I'll totally cook some awesome food for you. Just let me know if you're vegan, veggie, gluten-free, carnivore, etc. I will not book you if: 1. Your band sucks ass. That is loosely defined, as I have weird tastes in music. Yes, I will book folk punk. 2. IF your band is just god-awful. NO INDIE ROCK, NO GARAGE ROCK, NO HIPPY JAM BANDS, NO TEAGAN AND SARA FANS, NO METALCORE, NO BULLSHIT. Emailing me in spite of this does not make you clever, funny, or cute. It makes you look stupid and rightfully so. If I could post a picture of me facepalming when I get those emails I would. 3. You require an upfront guarantee. If your band is fucking awesome (ie. somewhat well-known) We'll talk guarantees. 4. You hire a sleazy booking agency to contact me. I like talking to BANDS themselves, not assclown desk jockeys looking to skim a little off the top. 5. You are racist, NSBM, RAC, etc. I try hard to make the shows I book kick ass, destroy, pay well, and go over nicely. I like what I do, and try to do it right. You will be treated fairly and with respect, unless you're a pompous rockstar douche. Read our comments. You'll see what you're dealing with.

Comments:

matt (Posted 2009-01-17 21:17:13)

Oh you...

Andrew Messer (Posted 2008-08-16 07:49:11)

I tried to book with this guy once. He told us we were going to be playing a 200+ capacity club with professional sound. But instead, he took me and the rest of the band to his parents house where he asked us repeatedly if we "wanted to see it". We said no and asked him if this is where the show was going to be. He said the show was already going on and he stood up, turned some Kenny Loggins on the stereo, and flickered the lights on and off for half an hour. By this time we were getting a little upset and asked if we could leave. He punched himself in the face hard enough to make his mouth bleed pretty badly, and then sobbed for nearly an hour about what a bad son he was, all while being completely and utterly naked. Needless to say, we were kind of freaked out. We decided to make a rush for the van but when we got there we found we'd been blocked in by the police. The cops were already getting out, apparently someone had heard out screams for help. The naked kid took a running leap and "ninja kicked" one cop, but the other one took him down with a swift punch. After lying motionless for nearly a minute, the naked dude hopped up, crapped himself, and tried to "cartwheel" his way to freedom.... a while sustaining an erection. His mom finally came out of the house and started banging a wooden spoon against a cooking pot. She said it "soothed him". The naked dude started pretending he was invisible and tried to slowly pick people's pockets and dance a little. It was obvious to us, we weren't going to get paid for this.

Matt. (Posted 2008-06-15 18:41:09)

^ | That's because your band sucks.

zach (Posted 2008-06-05 11:17:32)

unless yr playing really obvious hardcore music its not worth getting in contact

chase (Posted 2007-11-06 11:29:33)

I saw this guy light his nuts on fire once. Intentionally.

DTB (Posted 2007-06-23 16:38:20)

a big naked indian

fuck punkhole (Posted 2005-08-01 12:27:31)

you cain't fuck wit tha skull haus!!!

campaign for emo destruction (Posted 2005-07-12 10:30:24)

aaawwww. looks like some poor emo wimp got offended....

punkhole (Posted 2005-07-11 09:37:11)

you are a dildo

carlos (Posted 2004-12-01 19:02:50)

awesome dudes! Kick ass shows!!!

Rate "************** a Decentralized Booking Guy":

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Post a Comment:



Now, please prove you're not a robot: