Book Your Own Fuckin' Life

eartoear (band) [edit] [flag] Last Updated: 2009-06-23

“So… you guys wanna play some music?” Boom! Kablam! Cue burst of light and atmospheric fog… I’m sorry, are the Sirens singing? It sounds like those musical temptresses of old are getting wet with creative envy and respect-filled longing. Perhaps they’re just inspired by the forthcoming musical evolution. Do you see the planets aligning? Do you feel the elements of contemporary technology fusing with the organic essentials of a common past? Does it all blow your fucking mind?? March 2008: A simple question and a desire for originality compels three like-minded musicians to destroy the imposing boundaries of genre and song composition. A consuming passion for music unites these three, causing an explosion of creative energy, constructing a dynamic creature that’s more than machine but excessively soulful; a robot-like formation following some intrinsic ambition to kick musical ass with or without taking names. Picture the Big Bang… but like, totally cooler. The ambition: change the shape of music. Move away from the dull. Combine aggression with melody. Assert emotion in terms of passion (as opposed to being total emo pussies). Blend pensive and honest lyrics with innovative musical stylings that are both wholly original and remarkably catchy. Take music in a direction that we have yet to see. Doesn’t it just make you smile from ear to ear??? With influences ranging from acoustic folk-rock, to jazz-funk fusion, to ambient and indie, to melodic punk-rock, to progressive metal and hardcore, eartoear strives to fuse diversity and cohesion… all for your listening pleasure. So you can say thank you. …Not yet… …Not yet… …Wait for it… …Okay…Now!! Well you’re fucking welcome! It’s their honor. Bringing something new to the musical melting pot is not just their wish, but their responsibility. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it. When conventional radio pop makes you consider killing yourself and/or your loved ones, take some solace in knowing that three white knights are doing their damndest to bring you some harmonious reprieve. Oh yeah… they’re from Long Island. Has that been mentioned yet? And they want to play shows too. So book them. Book them now! Cause they will totally make you lose control of your bodily functions as a result of unreserved excitement. That’s what they do. So have janitors on call. They’ll play weddings too. But they won’t bend to the whim of your typical wedding-band archetype. They’ll play what they want and make obscene and regrettable sexual advances towards the bride, all while appeasing their affinity for alcohol and illicit substances. I mean, that’s just how they roll. Bar mitzvahs are fair game too. And the ones for girls as well (they don’t want to seem discriminatory). What are those? Bah mitzvahs? Bat mitzvahs? Whatever… eartoear holds no religious affiliations, so it’s all good. They’ll even take requests! As long as those requests aren’t totally lame. *eartoear reserves the right to decide if the aforementioned requests are totally lame. In return for their ambition and desire to make the world a better place, eartoear just asks for your praise and love (and to be friends with them on myspace and come to their shows—the ones that are on the horizon—and buy any albums they put out in the future). Because eartoear loves you! eartoear wants you to be happy! If you were a high school sweetheart, eartoear would totally marry you and build a family with you! Unfortunately, the music industry does not reward the modest or meek, so a certain confidence needs to be asserted (I’m sure you understand). Word of mouth is absolutely key. So if you like their music—which you undoubtedly will—be sure to spread the word: eartoear is evolution… and it’s time to evolve.

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